Your meltdown is not a tantrum.
A meltdown is your nervous system in an emergency. A tantrum is a negotiation tactic. They look similar to an outsider. They are not the same thing, and the insistence that they are has done enormous damage.

A meltdown is your nervous system in an emergency. A tantrum is a negotiation tactic. They look similar to an outsider. They are not the same thing, and the insistence that they are has done enormous damage.
A tantrum has a goal. The child who wants the toy, does not get the toy, performs distress in the hope of changing the outcome. The performance ends when the negotiation ends, one way or the other. The child is in control of the volume and the timing, even when it does not look that way.
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